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A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle.
Please Keep This Candle Going!

This is for anyone who lives have been touched by cancer. I have 3 people in my immediate family who are battling this terrible disease.

I went to the local Relay for Life last summer and found it to be a very worthwhile event in helping not only raise money for cancer but to fight back and cope with the personal loss and reflect together as a community. It was a big deal and a life altering event. I urge you all to find the chapter in your area and find out more about these wonderful events.

And to all a good night! Wheew! Are you all as glad it’s over as I am? I love going to see everyone and making special memories. I can do without the added stresses and tensions that can come with the season like an unwanted virus. This time of year often feels like a huge emotional wave that comes overtakes me with sentimental feelings of nostalgia of Christmas magic from when I was a kid. Knowing now what my mother went thru to make the holidays special even as she worked full time really fills me with so much love and appreciation for her care and thoughtfulness. What care she took to pick out gifts and wrap them beautifully for us. She’d make us little letters that ‘Santa’ would leave for us thanking us for our delicious cookies. She had everything dialed in from the onion dip to the homemade pumpkin pie. She did everything with what appeared to be such ease. Every Christmas is infused with her recipes, her love, our traditions and a great need to make everything special, wonderful and delightful for us kids.

I’m the opposite of my mother’s grace. I can make onion dip and pumpkin pie. But not without the fire alarm going off or the phone ringing or something to pull me away from my task. My mom always seemed so focused and methodical in her work. She wasn’t often distracted and was able to go to task without being pulled left & right by this, that & the other. Me, on the other hand; my life seems to delight in running me around and wringing me out. Flipping me around like it’s own little red rag waving in a tornado force wind. Life doesn’t twidder about me like the bluebirds of happiness. It batters me with it’s forces of energy. I feel like a tilting planet all it’s own sometimes with my own gravitational force. I long for that seeming paradise of calm, cool & collected that my mom can achieve. I wish she’d share the recipe for that! That is what I am craving right now!

I hope the season brought you joys from Christmas past, blessing on Christmas now and peace for the coming new year’s future. It’s not time to drop the fun of giving though. I have a couple things I received that I can’t use or return so I will donate them or pass them to someone who may be able to use and appreciate them. I also have a big pot of soup to make from the turkey carcass we brought home from a holiday gathering. I will make soup up and freeze it in quarts to give away. It’s always nice to have homemade soup. I also have some more fudge wrapped up that needs to get out of here before I eat anymore of it! I think the mailman has his name on some!

Every baby is Jesus’ perfection trying to be seen and acknowledged and reborn again and again. We can see it if we have the eyes, heart & hormones of a mother, or a vivid enough imagination that could imagine such as so. The love of a mother and the power a mother feels as she nourishes & sustains life, gives birth and continues to sustain that life with milk made from her own body, is the key, integral relationship in any human life. This is an act  so full of dynamism that any peace loving culture should rely on breastfeeding as a great beginning to creating happy, well-adjusted people thru out the world as a whole today. Lack of bonding as we can sometimes see in bottle fed babies, who miss out on the breast and the close mother/child bond, creates a population that is more enamored by the achieving of material gains then relating on a heart & soul human level with other human beings.  As we can see in the world today these shifted values have altered the path the world is on to a degree that has bred and nurtured people who are hell bent on greed, war, destruction and other traits that come from the damaged, improperly nurtured psyche.

Mary didn’t milk any of the barn animals for milk for baby Jesus. She nourished Him with milk from her own body. This act is a woman’s sacred art and has shaped futures of children from the beginning of time. Making milk for an infant can be a joy and a pleasure. It is certainly a lot of work for the body. Milk holds everything, every nutrient and satisfaction for a child; mind, body & soul. The act of breastfeeding instills innately the preciousness and value and worthiness of taking the best care, time & energy with your child. The care that come thru breastfeeding plays a role in the formation of every relationship thereafter. Ecological breastfeeding-when the breast is given on demand, without the use of bottles or pacifiers, can also suppress fertility, as the body adjusts so beautifully to accommodate the mother’s & child’s needs.

Any act such as breastfeeding which requires such devotion & sacrifice on a person’s part automatically makes the act a sacred one. Any sacred act infuses the preciousness and worth that we as a society lack in today. We wouldn’t have 1/2 the wars & murder or even depression, suicide or basic dissatisfaction with life if we had just given our children their birthright; our milk. Or more accurately-their milk. And she gives until it hurts. As they need. To establish their selves as such to value all life around us. This is one of the fatal flaws we make as humanity in not being absolutely blessed and supportive of the breastfeeding mother. It is a wound in the psyche that can not be healed or filled with any other outside resources and have the same impact it has when given from the source.

Breastfeeding stimulates important nurturing hormones called prolactin & oxytocin which induce feelings of contentment & satisfaction in not only the mother & child but also in anyone who even witnesses the act of breastfeeding! These are the same hormones that are produced when an orgasm is achieved.

We were created for ecstasy & bliss! Our whole system supports this but cultural & societal norms have altered this natural path & disrupted the core of the essence of our being.

Breastfeeding also reduces the likelihood of a woman getting breast cancer.

Support your hardworking mothers!

Since we can’t seem to give peace a chance, let’s try love for a change. Put some love in your hearts! The holidays aren’t about racing around trying to find something cheap to buy someone you love. Really, it’s not. Yet we find ourselves and see so many doing so. Put some love in your heart! Try love for a change. If you can’t get there on your own, put some lovely music on. Something that evokes the spirit of tenderness and love. Do whatever you have to to try love for a change. Be inspired! Think back, oh sweet memory if nothing holds love for you now. Where is the love? Try love for a change. It starts in the heart. It starts by shutting off the brain to the barrage of intellectualized reasons why we move in haste and often without a genuine smile. Try love for a change. Find your smile. When you have done that, you know you have love in your heart. Feed the flame of love. Stoke the stove heartily with fuel so the embers can heat thru any iciness and melt down the walls that keep us from really connecting. Slow down. Listen to some great music that you love. If it is holiday music, even all the more inspiring! Find your smile. Share it willingly. You never knows who needs that smile the most. Probably the person you want to smile at the least. Find the joy in your heart that isn’t based on expectations of anything but delight. Haste is a form of violence. If we can all slow down, find out inner love song, put on a genuine smile, I know that tomorrow will be a better day. Join me, won’t you? <[;>)

During this season of giving I can’t help but feel the pain of the millions of people who all they want are things money cannot buy. Like peace and hope. Or love and joy. What is the value of these things? What does hope look like? What does peace look like? Hope, to me, looks like the eyelashes of a tiny baby that rests on a silky cheek. Peace looks like the wind that raises the birds in the sky; elusive & fleeting. Love looks like a smile, open and friendly, ready to be generous and maybe even share a laugh. Joy looks like the fertile earth that has been dug up by the leaping paws of a happy dog, that has unearthed the earth itself with galloping strides of joyful bursting forth in energetic delight.

What do your wishes and hopes look like? Are they asking you to notice them, like the blossom of a flower, who tries so hard to get noticed, touched, smelled and appreciated? Breathe life into your dreams so they can come to fruition. Keep them alive anyway you can. Write and plan your dreams. Now is the time to access and reassess everything you have in your life . Conscientious people live the life that they want. Instead of life having you; you have the life you want. By accessing your life, your choices for the coming new year you can get rid of what no longer serves you, be it a bad habit or stressful unfulfiling work. Try to use your eyes that can see things like hope in the eyelashes of a child. This will create a balance of creative and pragmatic energies that will serve you well for the coming new year ahead. I wish you many blessings of all the good things in life that hold the true meaning of the season. All the things that money cannot buy have the most value. May you be showered with all the good things in life! And don’t forget, the best things in life aren’t things.

My dear friends,

Somewhat embarrassing to admit, I’m really short on cash and Christmas is tight this year. I will be making bedroom slippers for you all as gifts. Please let me know your sizes. You’ll most likely agree that it’s a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same, I’ve included the instructions below:

How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads:

You need four maxi pads to make a pair.
Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part.
The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top.
Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.

Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically appealing), etc.

These slippers are:
* Soft and Hygienic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light and Get out the Sand Bags.

I’ve attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty slippers for yourself….

As soon as I get embroiled in all the great things the season has to bring, reality kicks in and so does the fear and loathing. A dear friend of ours has found lumps in his throat and neck and we are very concerned for his well being. Of course the first thing that pops into mind is cancer. It’s just like an automatic reaction. When I was a kid the worst thing in the world was cancer. This was before we seen what aids and other incurable disease could do.

So the season is now fraught with fear of disease, tests, scans and needles and waiting for results.  The worst part is the waiting. Time goes into a bubble warp and twists and turns and drags it’s feet when you are in waiting. Time has no friend like the good news we hope to hear from this uncertain place in time. One of the worst parts is that he doesn’t have insurance and has put this off for months and months now. That precious time can make the difference between stage III or IV cancer and have a huge impact of his rate of cure. I am ashamed of a country as rich and powerful as ours who has nothing better to give it’s own people than a war hell bent and built on lies, and lack of the most basic care that every human needs and should be entitled to as our birthright as proper medical care. What is this country coming to? We are endangering human life as we natter on about health care solutions. The solution lay in giving. Give until it hurts. Then maybe the people who are really hurting can get some care and relief.

Hold on to your loved ones tightly! Nothing is guaranteed. We can be grateful we get to see the sunrise of a new day. What will we do with this new day? My hope for you is to be able to linger in the beauty of all that surrounds you be it people or nature that you love. Indulge your senses. The time to live is now! Nothing is certain and anything can happen. It feels like flying by the seat of your pants. It can make you uncomfortable, but the ride is fun and the view is great. Enjoy the view in your life today. If there is no focus on illness or disease or despair, then rejoice for your good fortune.

Do you know what that means? It means give up something of value to yourself so you can bring joy & humanity to others who may be without. Give something that is your own; give what you want. Give something that is comforting and warm. A hat, scarf or mittens. Slippers or homemade soup and bread. A warm smile, nod, handshake or hug. Give something you love and would want for yourself. Cloak a part of your world with kindness and warmth. Give something you could keep yourself but out of the goodness of your heart you want to share that which you already strive for and love. Nourish someone. Give them sustenance for life. Heart & soul. This is why we are here. To do so eases wrongs and sets the world right. To do so is a sign of spiritual & emotional maturity. To delay one’s own gratification for the needs and fulfillment of another is one of the highest forms of intellectualized spiritual truth that represents a high level of emotional maturity. This maturity serves as a lifeline of grace & peace to an all too often gray & hardscrabble world. Behaving as such sends a very important message into your life and into the world around us. A message that lingers and sings words of Hope, Joy, Charity, Faith & Love. In today’s world-this is revolutionary! Viva La Revolution! No pain, no gain! Get giving! It hurts so good!

Today was another day infused with gratitude, serenity and goodwill. I drove around with my 4 year old daughter and the dog, spreading smiles and good vibes everywhere we went. The day began with my girl finding some jingle bells. As we drove down the road she jingled those bells right in time with the fantastic Latin music that the local radio station played. I rocked on the steering wheel as the dog had her head out the window in blissed out face full of wind, glee. Even though it was cold out, we had 3 of the windows down and the heater going full blast. As we drove in the canyon that links us to the outside world an impatient driver tailed us closely making me nervous. I waited for a safe spot and pulled of and she drove by giving us a friendly wave. I was glad to anticipate her need to get there sooner than me and I was left feeling all the more gracious for moving out of her way and going on in my own merry way.

Our first stop was at our favorite thrift store, where we picked up a recorder and some more bells so we could add to the musical mayhem. I insisted my daughter played the recorder ‘pretty’ instead of the full breath bleeeet that she preferred to play. As we exited the thrift store, I anticipated another person wanting to exit and grabbed the door to help her make her way. We shared a smile and some small courtesy talk and again I was left feeling gracious and buoyant.

As we drove on we seen an older fellow holding a cardboard sign asking for any ‘help, everything helps’. So I pulled a couple dollars and a coupon for a free taco out of my wallet to give him. He was so happy and said, “God Bless you”, over and over. I told him no problem, happy to help, sorry I didn’t have more to give him. He petted our sweet dog who lapped at his face and we left him feeling better than we found him. We drove on.

I was amazed at how receptive everyone was to us. We had nothing really to do today. No where in particular to go. We just needed a day out of the house as cabin fever settles in as the weather turns colder and we spend less & less time outside. We were happy to let the guy with only one item go in front of us in line, and to move aside for the hurried mom with 2 little ones in tow. By the time I got home, I was like a helium balloon flying high as I recalled the small ways I was able to spread a little joy and sunshine on this cloudy and overcast day.

Go out and spread your good graciousness. It feels great! I was so happy to be me today. I was happy to share the earth with my comrades in arms. I am grateful to be able to bring even the smallest joy. Bringing many small joys brought me great joy! I highly recommend it!

More cowbell, anyone?

I basked in the harvest of my gratitude today and found it created a calm graciousness in me. There is a woman speak thought that says when we steal, it is essentially telling God/dess that there is not enough in the world for everyone. This misconception is fundamentally wrong. There is enough for everybody;  more than enough. The way the world works now, wealth is hoarded, undistributed and the masses are truly hungering for ‘their own’. We can see this hungering in the crime we see in our poverty ridden communities who’s destitute lives have lost hope & meaning.

When I was gravely ill with a serious disease, that Christmas, on Christmas eve, in fact, we got a phone call from someone we had never met or spoken to. She told us her & the 4 H group and the local church had gotten together and got us a bunch of groceries. Boy, did they ever! We had so much stuff that we couldn’t even put it all away in the cupboards! It was a fantastic surprise that came out of no where and made our holiday for we were in dire need of some help. This act of kindness from complete strangers has reverberated in me since that day. The world has tried for many years to take away my dreams, my hopes, my strength and in one fell swoop my faith in humanity had been restored. It’s gratifying to know that one small act such as sharing with those in need can really make the difference for someone. Or for someone’s whole family!

I can’t give grocery carts full of food. But I can make homemade breads and shape it into Challahs, braids, bagels, ropes, pretzels, cinnamon rolls and other delights to share. I want to make it a season of literally breaking bread with my neighbor. As I sit here a fresh loaf of bread is cooling on the kitchen counter. I long to break bread and share with those who may not only be hungry in body but also in spirit. Bread is fundamentally a symbol of transformation as ground grain is brought to rise. I hope the bread (words) I share here can help even one of us to rise above the lip of the pan that is keeping us from spilling over into the world and nourishing one another with our kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness and love. Be someone’s simple, nourishing bread today by transforming someone’s day with something simple, even if it is just your genuine smile. You never know how far it will go, whose life it will touch and how it continues to grow. I want us to break big bread, like the episode of I Love Lucy when the loaf of bread rises so huge that it pins Lucy to the wall from it’s immense size. I want us all to be sharing the best of ourselves that rises to the top and gives the most life affirming and sustaining aspects of our character. Take this as a challenge of sorts. Where are you going to bring the bread of peace & community this season? What form is that going to take for you personally? Let yourself be transformed just as the ground grain is transformed into body sustaining bread and kindness turns into the soul sustaining bread of life.

This Thanksgiving was one filled with closeness and joy. We all helped out and made the work light and lovely for us all. We feasted and got festive, and gave thanks that we are still all here and all together. We watched football and ate a beautiful meal, shared stories and laughter. The undercurrent of the emotions of the day were full of anticipations, hopes, expectations of times to come. Thanksgiving is like turning a new leaf. A time to hunker down, gather your nuts and seeds, draw close and chew the fat. That is what the harvest time is for. Getting prepared for rain & snow. Getting food stock piled to make it thru the season. Taking out coats, snow boots, mittens and other winter gear.  I have insulated winter curtains that I put up to hold the heat in. I put rugs under the doors to catch drafts. I bake lots of cookies and bread. It’s all a process. It use to be integral to our survival. Now the seasons can come & go and we only notice if they mess up our hair or rain on our plans. The seasons and their cycles have much to teach us. If we can find balance within the seasons then we can truly enjoy and appreciate all the nuances and subtleties that help us greet our day with anticipation. There is something comforting about wearing slippers to keep your feet warm and getting snuggly on the couch under soft blankets. It’s a time for hugs and snuggles and making your own heat. I have found I am much more acclimated to the cold if I take a hot sauna regularly and exercise to keep my blood flowing and keep my metabolism active. I am grateful for these things I can do in my life to help me adapt to the changes in the season. It’s the creature comforts that makes us relish our existence in this world, a truly define us from the animal world.

We had the luxury of being able to share food this year. I found a Vietnam veteran who lost both legs in a landmine explosion. He lives alone with his daily cigarette rations layed out next to him, ready for when he wants one. He was parked in front of the television, with t.v guide close by, so he didn’t miss any of his favorite shows. He had a small, electric heater that worked furiously to keep the chill out of the room. I had seen his wheelchair but didn’t realize he had no legs until I walked into the small trailer and closed the door behind me. We had never met before and I held a hot pan full of food hoping he wouldn’t fear me, a stranger, bringing him food. I asked him if he had thanksgiving yet. He replied, “Yes”. I asked him if he would like some more. He again said “Yes”. I handed him the pan full of hot food, turned to open the sliding glass door, turning, I said “Happy Thanksgiving, and thank you” and left. After I left I realized that I had walked into this noble man’s full existence. His daily cigs and his t.v are his life, in between the horrors of war he tries to keep at bay, like the cold. I felt sorry that someone could give so much to so many and still have so little. I hoped for the writer’s strike to end so he could watch some fresh & entertaining t.v. to bring something to his life. I secretly hoped he was rich and had everything he needed and only lived this way because he was a sensible man with humble needs.

He didn’t realize the gift he has given me in receiving the gift I brought to him. I’m already scheming something nice for him for Christmas. I know my small, humble gestures make a difference in people’s lives. I am so happy when I can give where needed and be received. I hope you find a place of need and help them receive this season of thanks.

Preserving nature is an integral part of being a spiritual person. Nature has so much to share and gifts to teach us if we will only take the time to stop, look and listen (or ask the right questions!) Be it as simple as letting a daddy long legs spider live in the corner of your laundry room, to feeding and watering the birds, your service to animals will bring you joy. One year we made a Christmas tree for the birds from a tree in our landscaping. We hung pine cones smeared with peanut butter and rolled in wild bird seed. We strung popcorn, suet blocks and apple cores. It was a thrill to see the birds all come and feast in the cold of the season. We felt peace knowing that they would be sustained throughout the cold winter. Not that nature can’t provide, but if we can supplement nature then wildlife can really thrive and do well amid the stresses of modern life.

To nurture nature is sacred. To stop and reflect upon nature is truly divine.

Using your care of nature as sacred ritual is important. Caring for nature puts one in the role of responsibility, which simply means; the ability to respond. To respond to nature’s specific needs is essentially service. And to serve is to find your greatest joy. Find your joy in feeding the birds seeds & millet or nectar for the hummingbirds. You can make butterfly gardens and feeders too. I have a birdbath that at night also serves the nocturnal frogs, lizards and the occasional snake. I feed the wild birds seed and grain that I give to my chickens-cracked corn and wheat. We have a couple of doves who came the 1st year we began feeding the birds and they would always join in right next to the chickens to get their daily grains. The next year they came as a trio, bringing a new little fledgling to feast. We are blessed to live in the forest. This means also we have a forest full of animals & insects. Caring for their needs and fostering an environment for them to thrive in is a great joy and privilege. Caring for nature puts many important things into a perspective that fosters a greater awareness of the world around. There is magic in nature. From the tiny seed that grows into a towering tree to the beauty and form of a spider’s intricate web. Nature has so much to teach us, if we will only stop to notice.

Although I announced my leaving yesterday, I would like to leave you not with another thought about charity. Many people I talk to are hesitant to give money to something like National Denim Day because, although it goes to a good cause, you can’t really see the benefits. It isn’t touching the lives of people right here, right now.

So let me tell you about my favorite charity - Elizabethtown College. I went to Etown, graduating in 2006, and I couldn’t be prouder of my school. I’m not the most wealthy alumni out there, but I give what I can. Choosing to give to your alma mater can be really rewarding, as you can actually see the money in use.

How do colleges spend the money? I know tuition is expensive, but up to 30% of a college-goer’s expenses is likely paid for by donations. If it were not for people like you and me, tuition would be even higher. So, it goes to paid for stuff like professors’ salaries, cafeteria food, dorm upkeep, special events, landscaping, library resources, and so forth.

Beyond that, you can also consider starting a scholarship fund. That way you can directly affect the life of a student every single year, making it possible for that student to afford school. Or, consider sponsoring a group like a specific sport or club on campus. Or, sponsor the purchase of a needed item, like a picnic table outside of the library where students can study. The list of opportunities goes on and on.

Colleges are all non-profits, so your donation is tax deductible. Check with your employer about matching gift programs as well. Some companies will match your donation dollar for dollar or even two dollars for every one of your dollars! If nothing else, be polite to the phone-a-thon kids who call you. They’re students just like you were, and they really do need the money; so, be respectful and if you can’t donate now, either ask to be taken off the list or tell them a better time to call.

I used to work in higher education development, so if you have any donation questions, let me know!

As most of you know, I’m sponsoring a Lee National Denim Day team to support breast cancer research. We have a long way to go to reach our goal, but if everyone reading this donates just $5, we can really add up to make a big difference.

As an added bonus, I have ten breast cancer support ribbon pins to give away! I’ll send one to the next ten people who join our team with a donation of just FIVE DOLLARS. Think about it - you can save $5 by bringing your lunch from home instead of eating out while at work. You can do that for one day right?

Our deadline is October 5, but I hope you’ll reach for your credit card right now to make an online donation here: https://register.denimday.com/TeamWebPage.cfm?pID=20788. After you donate, send me a comment with your mailing address and you’ll receive your very own pin for free!

You can also send a check - for more information about that, please contact me at allison.boyer -at- yahoo.com.

breast cancer, cancer, charity