Scientoloty Weddings
Tom and Katie are getting married soon, and that sparks all sorts of questions about their wedding, since this power couple has been under all sorts of scutiny for thier religion, Scientology.
Read the full story here.
Weddings are weddings, though, no matter how ya slice it…and in my upbringing, I was taught that no matter what religion you practice, a wedding is before God (or the Divine, whatever you like to call it).
That said, it’s totally important to talk to your significant other about weddings early in the relationship. I would never consider a wedding in which I was not married by a religious leader (priest, minister, etc). I’m not even sure I’d consider having my wedding somewhere outside of a church. My boyfriend is very supportive of that, and it’s something we’ve talked about even though we’ve only been dating a few months. It’s a pretty important thing to get out there in the relationship early on, if you ask me, since some people may dream of a wedding on the beach or simply want to get married in the courthouse, with no real wedding.
Voice your view on weddings from the start to avoid complicated differenes later on in the relationship.
Check out Christina’s Blog to read more about relationships!
Tom and Katie, wedding, Scientology, weddings, God, Divine, relationship, married, church
November 15th, 2006 at 11:42 pm
Well, I’m sure you know by now that I’m going to respectfully disagree with you on this. But, I’ll try to keep it simple.
First, let me just say that I think that any conversation you have with someone you’ve been dating in regard to marriage should be as open and understanding of their views as possible. Don’t just ask the whats…ask the whys. In understanding the whys you may come to realize that there is some middle ground between the two of you.
I would never recommend a one-way “voicing� of one’s rules for a wedding. I would hope that it was a very equal discussion following the things I mentioned above.
Let’s take my marriage for example: I was married outdoors, on an unusually beautiful winter day in the middle of Japanese Tea Gardens. Not only was the setting tranquil and serene. It was also in the middle of nature. I am of the belief that if there is a god, he certainly doesn’t just show up to a wooden building called a church on Sunday mornings or for weddings.
An actual “church� can be found any place that is sacred to you. My home is my church. My local bookstore is my church, a venerable warehouse of knowledge available to support my faith whenever I require it. And, my church is within my community and the people who love, honor and respect my decisions (and I theirs).
A wedding (according to Wikipedia) is a civil or religious ceremony that celebrates the beginning of a marriage. A marriage is a relationship between or among individuals, usually recognized by civil authority and/or bound by the religious beliefs of the participants. The fact that marriage often has the dual nature of a binding legal contract plus a moral promise can make it difficult to characterize.
A “member of the cloth� did not marry me. A civil official whom I know, love, and deeply respect—my uncle, married my husband and I. And, that was more meaningful to me than having some stranger before me that I had not formed a deep relationship with and who did not know the depth of my love for R.
Still, I’ll reiterate: An open discussion with your significant other about the wants for a ceremony (religious or civil) is the best approach. And, nothing should ever be written in stone…adaptability is the key to any long-lasting relationship.
Thank you for the well wishes on my spiritual journey. It started some 30 years ago and will continue the rest of my life.
November 15th, 2006 at 11:54 pm
I don’t think we’re disagree on this at all–getting married in a chruch is what is personally important to me, but for other, getting married somewhere else can work fine too. It’s just an issue I think a lot of couples don’t think about for a long time, and it can be very important.
For some, the issue of where they get married and who marries them is something about which they are unwilling to budge. For me, it definitely is. You can see how this would be a problem if I was dating someone who 100% will not get married in a church and we didn’t discuss this issue until we got engaged!
I agree that any conversation needs to be an open dialogue, and that compromise is very important. That said, there are some values a person holds which might not be up for compromise.
For example, I (and most people) would never consider having a threesome. Never means never–I’m not going to compromise! The location aspect of my wedding is similar; a lot of people I know are unwilling to compromise about it. I’m not saying that you have to have a wedding in a church for it to be worth while–not at all!
I’m simply saying that if you have strong religious values dictating certain aspects of your wedding, you need to talk to your SO about it right away, not three years into the relationship.